Album Review: I Didn't Mean To Haunt You - Quadeca

Creating a concept album is one of the most difficult challenges that a musician can partake in. Often centering around a linear narrative or discussing specific topics in-depth, concept albums require an intense attention to detail and ability to continually captivate their listeners without becoming stale or repetitive. When executed poorly, these projects can come off as pretentious or overambitious, but when pulled off successfully, concept albums are able to offer compelling messages that resonate more with listeners than standard albums do. I Didn’t Mean To Haunt You, released recently by Los Angeles native rapper, artist, and YouTuber Quadeca, is one of the most intriguing concept albums released this year. Its creative perspective, heartbreaking honesty, and authentic vulnerability elevate Quadeca’s artistry to new heights that I previously thought unachievable for the 22-year-old rising star.

I Didn’t Mean To Haunt You’s foundation is a subversion and new interpretation of two widely-discussed topics: death and grief. Instead of being told from the perspective of someone who has lost a loved one, I Didn’t Mean To Haunt You is told from the perspective of someone who has died and is mourning the life and loved ones that they left behind. Sitting uncomfortably in an in-between state, the album’s narrator deals with the stages of grief and feelings of loss as they watch others cope with their new absence. This ambitious and captivating approach pairs perfectly with the album’s otherworldly ambiance and aesthetic — hauntingly ambient instrumental tracks and layered vocals create a ghostly delivery that will not be soon forgotten.

The album’s opening track “sorry4dying” is the perfect introduction to the narrator’s circumstances. This piano-backed and melodic track portrays someone who is realizing that they are now in the afterlife, situating themselves in relation to those who they left behind. The central conflict for the project is introduced here, as well, in the lines “I just want to hold you / Without haunting,” as the narrator realizes that holding on to the life they once lived will bring distress to those he just wants to reconnect with again. “tell me a joke”, one of the projects lead singles, sees the narrator reflect on the shortcomings of their life, culminating in the idea that their existence was a joke filled with hardships and difficulties. Like many of the songs on this album, this track builds and crescendos into a symphonic finale that incorporates all of the song’s elements at once, layered masterfully over one another.

“don’t mind me” is a haunting and downright depressing appeal to the narrator’s mother who is grieving her late son. The narrator wants her to move on, but going through his belongings keeps him in her memory. The song’s uptempo delivery understates just how intensely melancholic its messaging is. “picking up hands” is next - an acoustic and ambient offering that sees our narrator intensely mourning his childhood and upbringing from the other side. This track is slightly less sonically inventive than the others on the album, but its subject matter is consistent with the rest of the project. “born yesterday” is a highlight and served as the lead single for the album, paired with an incredible music video. This glitchy rap-influenced track finds the narrator finally accepting and coming to terms with his death, a perfect transition into the interlude like “the memories we lost in translation”.

Up until this point, I was thoroughly impressed with this album. That’s why with “house settling” onward, I was completely blown away by Quadeca’s artistic capability, as these are some of the best songs released in 2022, an already competitive and abundant year for music in general. While this track is largely open to interpretation, it has been confirmed that Danny Brown’s feature is told from the perspective of carbon monoxide, so do with that what you will. The production quality is immensely impressive here, outmatched only by the following track. “knots” was quickly in song of the year contention upon my first listen. Sounding like a combination of BROCKHAMPTON and Death Grips, this electro-experimental song impresses from beginning to end and serves as an entire experience in its own right. “fantasyworld” has a tough act to follow, but it does so hauntingly and beautifully, as the narrator reflects on the many experiences that we tend to put off in life. Doing so from the other side of death is a harsh and poignant reminder to make the most of the life we have. Deep stuff, handled masterfully.

“fractions of infinity” comes next and reminds me of the gorgeously ambient and transcendent tracks that Pink Floyd got famous releasing. The Sunday Service Choir’s repetition of “Those words don’t do you justice” won’t leave my mind after multiple listens - depicting just how deeply our narrator feels now and how they did throughout their time on Earth. “cassini’s division” is one of the more artistic and experimental tracks on the album, serving as a narrative conclusion as the album’s speaker evolves into static between life and death, letting go of all of their grief, anguish, and trauma. With almost three minutes of static to finish the song, I can see many viewing this conclusion as confusing if not unsettling, but I find that it serves Quadeca’s artistic vision well.

This project’s conceptualization is dark; to engage with it is to accept one’s mortality and empathically relate to the narrator’s grief and mourning of the waking world. But great art wants to be truly understood. Quadeca’s decision to expose his most vulnerable ruminations on this project is nothing short of admirable, and the dedication and care put into every track is palpable. While not every song here has a lasting effect on me, the whole is so much greater than the sum of its individual parts. Deeply philosophical, narratively captivating, and hauntingly intelligent, I Didn’t Mean To Haunt You sets a new bar of artistry and standard of excellence for the wickedly skilled Quadeca.

Favorite tracks: “sorry4dying”, “tell me a joke”, “don’t mind me”, “born yesterday”, “house settling”, “knots”, “fantasyworld”, “fractions of infinity”, “cassini’s division”

SCORE: 8/10